Keeping busy

So, officially today I can finally say that my surgery is next week!  10 days and counting, but believe me, I can do that time more accurate thanks to a little app on my phone.  As the big day gets closer still, I cant help but be filled with a mix of nervousness, worry, fear, and of course, excitement.  It’s a mix of emotions that keep me awake at night with thoughts running through my head.  Last night for example, I think I managed a whole hours sleep.  One of my dear friends today joked with me about how that was a luxury!

I kind of anticipated this happening.  I know what I’m like when really looking forward to something, so I’ve done my best for the next few days to make sure that my days are somewhat full.  Like yesterday.  Admittedly, it was an oversight on someone else’s behalf that lead to hubby and I booking places on the North York Moors Railway for their Christmas Moorlander lunch special.

Yes, it was booked for his birthday, and the 2 hour drive each way was a little hard, but it was so very enjoyable.  It was exactly what was needed to keep my mind off of things.  Who knows, we might do it again next year, funds allowing.  However, it’s when I’m not doing anything that it’s not so good right now.  Don’t get me wrong, I *know* this is so the right thing for me, but I am plain scared.

I guess some of it is nervous anticipation of what is going to happen.  Yes, this is a procedure that has been done time and time again, but I can not help worrying about it.  And about hubby…and all the other things.  This is my nature, inherited from my Mum.  She always said that if she had nothing to worry about, she would worry about that instead.  But still, 10 days and counting, and they can not go quick enough for me!