So, finally I get around to put my mind to virtual paper. I’ve got 16 days to go before the big day arrives. at 7am on the 11th of December this year, I will go under the surgeons knife and become in body, how I know I am in my mind.
This is has been such a long journey for me. I have known all my life that I am a trans woman, even if I have been unable to express that into words. It has just been in these last few years that I have been able to articulate who I am and how I feel. I owe so much to people in my life for giving me the confidence to do so, as well as the love and care I have needed, and will need in the coming days.
You know, when I first ‘came out’ as it were, I was terrified of losing everyone I hold dear. Yes, there have been people that have walked away from me in the last few years because of who I am now, but the people I love the most are still with me, and supporting me. You know who are you, and I love you all so much.
So, 16 days….16 days to the big day, and how do I feel? It’s so hard to put into words. On one hand, I am so happy and excited about this. This is what I have wanted for forever. The change to make me physically how I see myself mentally. On the other hand, god am I scared and worried. It’s not because I think it’s the wrong thing to do, oh hell no. It’s the worry about what if it goes wrong. What about my husband Eric, and dear friend Dave, both whom I care for. What about the pain. And the list goes on.
Despite this, despite the worry, the fear, the excitement, the whole mix of things, I AM HAVING THIS DONE! This is who I am, this is for ME!
Just, thank you everyone who has stuck by me, for supporting me and caring for me. Thank you, and enjoy this ride with me