16 days to go (not that I’m counting)

So, finally I get around to put my mind to virtual paper.  I’ve got 16 days to go before the big day arrives.  at 7am on the 11th of December this year, I will go under the surgeons knife and become in body, how I know I am in my mind.

This is has been such a long journey for me.  I have known all my life that I am a trans woman, even if I have been unable to express that into words.  It has just been in these last few years that I have been able to articulate who I am and how I feel.  I owe so much to people in my life for giving me the confidence to do so, as well as the love and care I have needed, and will need in the coming days.

You know, when I first ‘came out’ as it were, I was terrified of losing everyone I hold dear.  Yes, there have been people that have walked away from me in the last few years because of who I am now, but the people I love the most are still with me, and supporting me.  You know who are you, and I love you all so much.

So, 16 days….16 days to the big day, and how do I feel?  It’s so hard to put into words.  On one hand, I am so happy and excited about this.  This is what I have wanted for forever.  The change to make me physically how I see myself mentally.  On the other hand, god am I scared and worried.  It’s not because I think it’s the wrong thing to do, oh hell no.  It’s the worry about what if it goes wrong.  What about my husband Eric, and dear friend Dave, both whom I care for.  What about the pain.  And the list goes on.

Despite this, despite the worry, the fear, the excitement, the whole mix of things, I AM HAVING THIS DONE!  This is who I am, this is for ME!

Just, thank you everyone who has stuck by me, for supporting me and caring for me.  Thank you, and enjoy this ride with me

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